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26 February 2016 @ 06:16 am
Before I do anything more. I will need to create art.
26 February 2016 @ 03:49 am
I try and recall the times I managed to write a psychology research paper, with data collected, all by myself on my internship.

I don't get how I cannot write a 1.5 k word essay on literature education and method.

I know what to write... i love the topic.... I am just unable to.
Current Mood: ennui
Current Music: kokomo
27 July 2015 @ 01:03 pm
What I learnt is this.

That an empowered individual will contribute to the state. And the person that feels marginalised will not. And therefore some where somewhere pretty sure someone else said something somewhat similar. That society creates its own bad guys. Social determinism will forever linger. Because there will never be enough. Inequality will never end.

“Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat food from it
all the days of your life.
It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.
By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return.”
Current Mood: despair
27 July 2015 @ 12:56 pm
There seems to be very little reason to press forward. The work is hard, the harvest minimal. The system thankless and people unkind. Tell me why people. They say those that can't, teach. Which is true of my american journalist turned teacher friend. But for me I can't quite imagine doing anything else. (which might mean that earlier statement is true, because my inability to think of an alternative is also another 'can't'..) I think I just really want to be a good teacher. If not that, I enter some form of crisis. I can't figure out an alternative other than being an absolute hermit. I don't want to do invisible work. I want to know I am capable first. And I am aware this isn't the only visible work available. But if not this then what?

We exist in an economy that the iron ricebowl is in fact, very prudent. And I know I can do other things. So am I willing to accept this meagre portion, for little benefits when I know lavish feasts await me elsewhere? (This sounds very much like the grass is greener kinda thinking but I am only being hyperbolic) Ok so maybe not lavish feasts, but at least a ricebowl that isn't the result of soul-rending efforts.

I am tired, and you should rest when you are tired. Where to find strength.

Why does society squeeze us into little vocational cubbyholes?
Current Mood: doubtful
06 July 2015 @ 04:45 pm
 photo zuko1.png
13 June 2015 @ 04:28 pm
The Stranger by Charles Baudelaire
Tell me, enigmatic man, whom do you love the best? Your father, or your mother, or your sister, or your brother?
I have neither father, nor mother, nor sister, nor brother.
Your friends?
You are using a word whose meaning remains unknown to me to this very day.
Your country?
I do not know under what latitude it lies.
I would love her gladly, goddess and immortal.
I hate it as much as you hate God.
Well then! What do you love, extraordinary stranger?
I love the clouds … the passing clouds … over there … over there … the marvelous clouds!
21 April 2015 @ 10:01 am
when you convince yourself that psuedo productivity is well worth your precious pre-exam study time...
05 April 2015 @ 06:26 pm
“There's a race of men that don't fit in,
A race that can't sit still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin,
And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain's crest;
Their's is the curse of the gypsy blood,
And they don't know how to rest.”
12 March 2015 @ 10:37 pm
take note that people have appropriated the sacred, the divine and the beautiful into their own individual ideologies and group justification.

Divisive. Ugly and barbaric

It's all under God's good earth, his large and all encompassing mark on all that is created.

A sovereign remains sovereign in a divided world.
08 March 2015 @ 09:20 pm
Why is it that everytime I tell someone I am studying to be a teacher I always have to prove myself that i am somewhat worthy?

Dialogue goes:
"Wow you are in NIE? Are you going to be a teacher?"
At this point I wonder if you are asking a rhetorical question but your puzzled expression indicates that this is a genuine one.
Or you are probably not asking the question you want to ask.
which is
do you want to be a teacher?

my answer is always yes. And I have to overcompensate to support my answer. Pull some far away experience from my ass and use that to justify my apparent life calling.

But frankly the answer is no. I'd really rather not be a teacher. Students aren't my heart. Not yet. The destitute and the forgotten in society are.

But frankly, I get paid more with this job. Because society rather invest in the future than pay off the debt of their conscience to the people who are forgotten and pay the price for progress.
Current Music: I believe in your victory - This will destroy you